Thursday, 3 January 2013
Building a house for a Martian, pregnant virgin nun **9th Day Of Christmas**
First of all it is quite evident that that 'sally' (the nickname I have given the Martian nun mother) , is no longer pregnant, there was a whole blog post about the birth of this child. The floating at chanting, and me being very freaked out! ...
Remember that...?
While she was recovering this morning, I felt like I had the chance to go through with one of my most complex plans yet, something I'm certain will give this poor, struggling Martian mother the financial security she needs;
To plan, build and, most importantly, complete a whole 3 story home on Mars. (It's not as easy as it sounds, honest.), and present the new home to the mother by the end of the 3rd of January 2013. And do this all before she gets home from the hospital, which really isn't a long time, considering Martian women are quite resilient and strong (Women are stronger than men on the red planet, it's very different to Earth! Well with exception to the relationship of Kanye West and Kim Kardashian. I hear she is having a baby, Lychee wishes you well KIMYE, you should receive your gift basket with an assortment of cloud and grass soon. No need to thank us, just start eating Lychee foods drinks, use our technology, endorse Lychee in a very obvious way and make everything you wear have the Lychee brand logo on it! )
We worked down to the last minute, (Well my workforce did, my fingernails get tender...), and made sure the new house/complex/symbol of good will from the best person alive, ME!, was completed just before we saw the travel pod containing the new mother, child and three fathers coming over the bulbous crater of horror**, this is when we had JUST FINISHED WRAPPING the whole house and pool in a red, shiny wrapping paper and golden bow, for the three father to open (Sally was too weak, as she had just given birth, and everyone knows a mother cannot unwrap a house when they have just given birth. It's like a rule...!)
Sally loved the home, her gratitude reflected loudly, even through the screams of her day old child crying!
Today was a great day, remarkably less nauseating than yesterday I might add...!
ONLY THREE MORE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS LEFT! Boo!
But I promise you, they will be even more exciting than any other post, ever, in any blog, on any planet in the whole universe. Exaggerating, I would say No!...
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Until tomorrow, bye everyone!!
**Names are misleading really, the crater actually smells of vanilla and cinnamon and if you lick the crater it gives out candy floss. It actually gets its name from a travelling panda and a monkey duo who travelled here from the future in search of, what they considered primitive life. When they first landed on Mars (they wanted to go to Earth, but you know what a panda is like with a GPS), and this was around the time of the two tonne precipitation of Mars in 1699, so they ran, the monkey grazed his knee, and this is where toast was invented. They finally found shelter in the crater and made the crater pregnant with their wisdom. Anyway I don't really get the story, my Martian history is not the best, but I think the story ends with the fact that the panda turns into a turtle, the monkeys magically transported to the planet of Pandora (from Avatar), and gives James Cameron a dodgy haircut that went terribly wrong, and Cameron got the monkey back by making the monkey star in Titanic as the main character alongside Leonardo De Caprio...
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