MT VINIUS COOKING ACADEMY **OPENING**

"It's vast,  William Christian Hannerson is simply a genius!"- Architect opinion magazine.

After 3 weeks, 5,000 construction workers and only 15,000 injuries…

WE ARE FINALLY READY TO OPEN THE Mt. Vinius cooking academy! I think I might need to give you some context. I have always had an extremely good relationship with food. Not an addiction, but just a harmony that seems to go hand in hand with me and the COOKING OF FOOD. So when it came to thinking about how I could be a more philanthropic person, I decided to open one of the greatest cooking academies in the known universe, where any being could come to learn Martian, Earth, jupitian and venusiuan cookery. This, even in its planning stage, was exciting. So while I ran my multi-trillion pound Conglomerates, I allowed the architect to create a grand, unique cooking academy, with only two rules

1)      --Money is no object.

2)      –Make it great.

… And so he created the Mt. Vinius cooking academy. 

                         

For the opening of the academy, I thought a Jupitian granite troll would be a unique option to open the school. The emperor wanted to do it, I don’t think so.

My speech was kept intentionally short, as not to bore the masses who had taken their time to travel to Mars to witness the historical opening.

If i was to give a reason why I chose to take my time to oversee the building of Mt. Vinius, fund the academy myself and take the time to think of a humorous alternative to the mayor or emperor, in the form of a granite troll, my reason would not be good enough, as there is not just one. This may be seen as an attempt for publicity for my conglomerates, to gain attention and subsequent profit, this is simply not the case. Do you see any milky-way media? No.

I wish every success for the academy and its future students. We have Collected the best ‘food gurus' to learn the students of Mt. Vinius. They're not even that obese, which is surprising… Well, with the exception of many.

Without further delay, though, I declare the Mt. Vinius cooking academy… Open!

I've been a busy bee this week, as I have just been finishing examinations and... Being ill from the cold (stupid immune system not making me healthy.)

But on Wednesday, (27.01.13), YOU will be treated to a brand new, **magnifique** blog post PLUS the all new about me and Mt. Vinius page that will be updated weekly! (**vocabularly dictionary is coming in the next few weeks! **)

Bye everyone! Thanks for reading! Subscribe for eternal happiness, and to see my sexy, awkward face!

                              Tom x.

Lucid dreams, Mona Thomas and Gaga!

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Shortly before the weekend, Pete the unicorn, my now deceased cloned purple unicorn I created when I was just a young billionaire child prodigy, came to me and taught me what he had learned on his travel in the clone purple unicorn afterlife (It’s quite exclusive)…One of the things I remember most is what he taught me about the secrets to a successful lucid dream. This subject intrigued me as I have always wanted to be aware I was dreaming and being conscience in said dream.

So I set the date. I would try to have a lucid dream on the night of Tuesday the 22^nd of January; this is mostly so I would only have to maintain my excitement level for just a few hours before I told everyone about my lucid dream experience! And so last night I waited till all the Martians had settled…

**Silence falls as night approaches on the red planet the princess in her bed, the prince falls in love and we all quickly calm down, as I turn the last page of my fable, the princess and the tea tree. 

**A FAR LESS THAN AVERAGE NIGHTIME IN THE MARTIAN COMPLEX BEGINS! **

I followed the steps Pete told me in order to have a lucid dream, and I drifted off to my conscious sleep. At first, I was admittedly scared, I was now in a state where my body thought I was sleeping, yet my thoughts and awareness hadn’t switched off as it usually does when you sleep. All I needed to do is wait, and hope Tuesday was the night I would have a dream that I could control in my conscious-dreamlike state!…

A blackened fuzziness turned into a white light and what happened was truly amazing. Like the screen of a television, an amazing, flickering image started to appear before my closed eyes. This is when I knew I was about to experience my first lucid dream. ...

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When the dream began, I found myself still on Mars still. Yet this was noticeably different to the normal Martian soils I knew. For example, normally I don’t come across a snake dressed in a smart bow tie, mustache and mini, fashionable top hat combination. I must say he does look very dapper though. I assume it’s a male snake, he has a mustache. Or it might be something to do with overpowering hormones.

In this amazing candy like dream scene I found myself in I found I was able to do whatever I liked, and after I had walked and explored extensively, I looked to the violet sky to find a bodiless Gaga in the air. I found my personal deity. This dream was awesome.

When she began to talk, her voice boomed and filled the crazy dream world that was my overpowering imagination. She told me my abilities to control a dream meant she could take me on a tour of the world my mind had created. And so with a snigger at the sliding baby who seemed to endlessly slide down the giant smarties that made the candy Andes, and a lick of the square watermelon, I commanded my dream to take me on, I was unbelievably getting bored of the candy-like Mars…

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The next part of the dream seemed to be part of an old movie, though there were particularly interesting differences. I mean other than the fact I appear to be nearly falling to my death, yet with a look of amazement, I think I enjoyed the danger and the belief I could not be hurt, in something that was a simple work of my imagination!

**Can you see some of the things that just shouldn’t be in this black and white pre 1930’s scene??** Comment!

It was here gaga told me the significance of this situation. Gaga told me my inner conscience seemed to be telling me that my work was becoming outdated, in terms of the Lychee conglomerate. This was teaching me a useful lesson… I need to create an innovation, a new product that is unlike any other thing, ever. Even though I was able to control this ‘lucid dream’, I think the life concerns and inner worries of other fruit based companies catching up to Lychee was involved in creating this odd 1930-esque dream, with a bit of trillionaire imagination thrown in obviously! This dream was proving to be more valuable for my life, in general, by the second, Apart from the fun of going through this dream in what I thought as real time.

A sudden wind could be weirdly felt, as this simple scene turned into a twisting rainbow of colours where the gaga head seemed to be calmly pulling me through and humming a jazz version of bad romance and you and I...

(It was a seemingly long transition to the next part, even travel in a conscious dream takes time…life!) youuuuu and meee could write a baaad romannnncceee…..

A sudden wind could be weirdly felt, as this simple scene turned into a twisting rainbow of colours where the gaga head seemed to be calmly pulling me through and humming a jazz version of bad romance and you and I (It was a seemingly long transition to the next part, even travel in a conscious dream takes time…life!) youuuuu and meee could write a baaad romannnncceee…..
A beat of the drum was approaching. This is the first thing I heard as a group of tiny construction workers started to build a small room around Gaga and me. By this time the dream was beginning to be less and less out of my control, in terms of the amount of things I was able to do in it.
The floral headed Gaga suddenly was silent, and a weird sensation passed over my body producing the body of a light brown llama. I had the body of a light brown llama. This dream could not get any weirder. Oh but it could!
I found my llama self and gaga in a hell like, padded cell. This part of the dream was becoming less enjoyable and more concerning. Especially as this was the doing of my own imagination.
The head of gaga became more demonic as her giant, freaky mouth hole started to produce ocean water and a great white shark contained within the salt water. What was this about! I still don’t know!
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As the dream began to fade, and my body slowly waking, the scenes became more bland and colourless, until the bodiless Gaga was no more and the control I had in this apparent lucid dream was non-existent, to the point I, for a reason I don’t know, found my dream to end with a depiction of the Mona Lisa but with my face. The ‘Mona Thomas’

The look of surprise I had in this impressive alternative reproduction of the famous Leonardo de Vinci work/ self-loving portrait of me was the last thing I saw as this fascinating dream experience was coming to an end.

I woke to the sound of the cleaners cleaning, the creatures purring like a wolf, and the nonsense of the arc screaming loudly at the cheese stall. All was normal in my quaint Martian complex. I was back in the real world.  I knew exactly what I had to do next! It was all so clear as I lay in my bed, listening for the slight vibrations of the build in bed alarm that gave me an early warning that my alarm for the start of another day was about to begin shortly.

And I smiled to myself as the white llama depicted in my lucid dream stood outside. I knew it now. Do you realise it too?

 I knew it now. Do you see it too?...

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Thanks you, see you all Sunday? 

The Marvelous, Mystery Travels Of A Teenage Trillionaire.

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First and foremost ladies and gentlemen! (This intro sounds a little formal…)

**start again**-

So, to start off, if you are a new reader, you will need to have read Wednesdays blog post in order to fully understand this one…

So here is the link to that!-Lychee Breaking News.

If you have already read the post, or have JUST read said blog post from Wednesday, we can move on!

There was a lot of hype, rumors and media speculation about this trip, which from the point of view of the galaxies public, was quiet justified as these trips I occasionally go on do seem quite bizarre and secretive. This is not the case though, as the place I am going to is not another time, a forbidden planet or the house of a z list ‘has –been’, Jupite celebrity to eat stale, toasted buttered bread. It is in fact EARTH!

Yes, the planet home to 7.2 billion of my own, the place I made my fortune at a young age, and the place I come to relax, in the deepest depths of the Amazon. Of all the destinations I could choose, you probably find it quite bizarre that I have chosen planet Earth to have a little break. I have simply chosen to spend a few days here, in the middle of the amazon, with nothing but a suitcase for the relaxation!

So think of this as a little ‘unique holiday journal’! Enjoy!

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After a journey that had taken just 15 seconds, we arrived through the vortex that had transported our spaceship over a hundred million miles! (The joy of a space vortex…)

The vortex/wormhole, Earth side, arrived about 1,000 miles from the Earth surface, and once it had stopped completely, and cooled down from the 3,000 degree temperatures it had to go through in the vortex, a transportation beam focused on the UK allowed me and a few suitcases of essentials to travel down to the Earth.

To get to the Amazon, I had to travel to Brazil from Gatwick, (I didn’t go first class though, and my spiritual frame of mind overpowered my urge for luxury). In many ways, it was refreshing to see human life go about it's daily business, I have to admit, for some time before and during the Gatwick-Brazil flight , I stared and grinned a lot, which did somewhat freak out some of the recipients of my cheerful stares.!

 The flight, luckily, went quite quickly and from there I met with a guide who gave me nothing but a map and a friendly wave off, as I travelled into the rainforest.  Situations like this, although extensively organized by a team of security and professionals in the subject, do allow me to ‘slum it’, and in many ways, allow me to forget about money and possession by seeing what life really is about. 

It does, unbelievably get remarkably boring to live in the height of luxury a lot, this is why I go on my little visits/holidays back to Earth sometimes, to simply get away from the burden of business, and the hassle of being the richest man in the milky-way!

On a walk that lasted many hours, I began to feel fatigued; evidently my love of Martian cuisine had taken its toll on my physical abilities. I do have a gym; I just have never used it.  I carried on to my destination though, which was a little tribal community deep in the amazon. And the experience started.
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The tribe, in a lot of ways, reminded me of the tribes on Mars, when I first arrived on the red planet, I felt so excited, but there was the daunting prospect that I would be alone. The reality of the situation, when Lived, was the complete opposite of this though, I soon realized as a tribe of Martians made me feel welcome on the planet, and taught me the basics of survival, which is why I saw the tribe I stayed with on my earth visit as similar to the Martians who made me feel like a Martian myself!

Over the 4 days I spent with the tribe in the Amazon, I learnt so many things about myself. For example:

1)      I never looked good with ginger hair!

2)      A denim jacket DOES NOT look good on me, my body is too flat!

3)      Having a simple craving for something, does not mean I have to open a new business to provide said craving!

4)      The public is not my enemy. I dispute this STILL.

5)      I’m in no way talented at bee keeping.

I thank the tribe with no name in the Amazon for opening my eyes to the realities of Thomas. Thank you. And GURUAK!

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With that, my little trip was over, and I started back for my home on Mars, enriched and a bank of new, crazy ideas amassed in my head. This frequently happens when I am my most tranquil.

Get ready people, because I think life might get a tad more exciting, for readers of livingonmarsasatrillionaire especially...!

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*LYCHEE NEWS CORPORATION PRESENTS...!*

BREAKING NEWS FROM LYCHEE NEWS CORPORATION!

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With everyone’s favourite celebrity news anchor, Ta Ta Moon. Exclusive news transmitted straight to your home with a SMILE from Lychee news corps…

Today at around 6.15am, the trillionaire owner and founder of Lychee enterprises were seen boarding a Super-Jet at the 57^Th sector, East Mars. Met by around 6,000 members of the paparazzi, the crowded airport was filled to the brim to catch a rare look at the teenager, who is apparently about to embark on one of his rare ‘research trips’. Not much is known about the notoriously secretive goings on of the normally very open trillionaire teen, when he goes on his trips, with speculations going from the completely crazy theory that he is travelling in time through a secret wormhole in the unknown, very undiscovered Gregular system in the galaxy of wormholes, where he uses the vital information he collects to get an advantage over the rest of business in the universe. This is known as the ‘Tom goes to Greg’ theory, and actually stems from the stories of the young businessman apparently disappearing in one place in the universe, only to reappear in another part of the solar system, Something over 54 being have claimed to witness. Although it could just be that the businessman is going for a little holiday. This is more likely.

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To research this further, we sent our floating, roving, always intoxicated reporter/cleaner- Royf Ding, to try and find out some information about the intentions of this loveable trillionaire. In a disguise of course, he does have a distinctive face…

Though the disguise evidently worked, as Royf got some quite interesting information from the trillionaire;

Royf asked- Thomas, can you tell us exactly where you are going and what you are going to do?

Thomas’s reply-

If I was a deity, I would be worshipped. If I was not a rich man, you would not question my motives. Rumours can be true, but the truth can be twisted, and this is the truth I tell you. I will be going to improve, but I shall not tell you what, where I will do this, or if I will bring you back a souvenir. I might, I might not. 

This is not selfish, as it is clear to see you have come in your thousands to take pictures, to marvel at the teen that made it big, made him rich and became what he is. So it would be nothing less than fair to bring every single person here a souvenir back, but then this would not be possible for the place I plan to end up. 

Could I not, perhaps, just be going to a destination of leisure, or do you simply assume my life is one big secret, a silent tiptoe in the dark it is not! 

But then I know exactly what you all speak about. Is he going to attempt the impossible, and once again ‘break the mould’. I could be telling you the truth;but also, I could have my fingers crossed when I do this...

I will take no more questions, as I must be on my way. Thank you, and please Royf, I know it's you… save the embarrassment and take off that silly moustache, please.

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With that, and with a hoard of shouting reporters from across the galaxy screaming his name, Thomas smiled into the crowd, turned and boarded the super-jet and within 4 seconds of the doors closing, the trillionaire was in the air travelling to the place he is staying **destination unknown**!

                                                           Fin. End of the Lychee News!  

THE OFFICIAL LYCHEE GUIDE TO DRESSING LIKE A TRILLIONAIRE!

INTRO
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One of the main advantages of living on Mars is that there are no expectations of what I should wear when going about my daily business as a trillionaire. When you run a business on a scale such as Lychee enterprises, you are somewhat expected to dress in a certain way, this, when taking examples of many billionaire tycoons and entrepreneurs  back on Earth, is normally a boring suit and bland tie combination, accompanied by a cheerful wave, and an inner feeling of your creativity dying inside…

With Martians, who find all clothing worn by a human to be slightly weird, I don’t have this problem on a daily basis, I note that I have only been judged by what I wear as a trillionaire- when I do business on Earth.

For this post I will be telling you all about how I came to dress as I do, and how I am mostly influenced by the fashion of the red planet. So sit back and relax children of Earth, (I’m sure there is a program of some kind called this, but anyway.), and I will tell you --

THE OFFICIAL LYCHEE GUIDE TO DRESSING LIKE A TRILLIONAIRE!

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This guide will advise you all, for when you become a trillionaire, how to dress in a way where nobody wants to punch you in the face because you are more successful than them. Oprah.  

As I think it will help vastly too, I will also reluctantly reveal my journey to dressing the way I do, as I did try many ‘experimental looks, that wasn’t as successful as they could have been. Rather awkwardly, you may have realized that I didn’t really go through the normal phases of a teenager, such as experimenting with substances, and drinking weird liquids. (Keeping it family friendly…)

Now, you would think being such a high status figure in intergalactic technology, clothing, food, zoology and kale growing I would have more a lot more to worry about, other than the complexity of trillionaire fashion. But my fascination on the subject of different kinds of material I cover myself in, and the way this material is combined with other fibres of a material derived from a plant, cotton, has made me a top fashion guru on Mars. This probably explains why my eccentric clothing designs are continually the most popular and most sought after pieces of clothing the normal alien fashionista can clothe themselves in!

The complication of how to look when I was a very young, barely teenage billionaire was of a high importance and a subject that was continually concerning and time consuming for me. Something I don’t really experience much. This meant that I had to, for the first time, look up to the already less successful billionaires to see how they use their clothing to create symbol of themselves, and admittedly make myself look more influential. Remember, I did have much difficulty actually getting the Lychee brand excepted in the many alien societies of the Milky Way, so I had to ‘experiment’, such as trying the’ dressed down, I don’t care, I created  a social network ‘look of Mark Zuckerburg.

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As you can tell from my look of disgust + discomfort, and with this, the utter boredom a person would experience when having the misfortune to see me in this outfit, I figured this look really wasn’t ideal For me, and so I IMMEDIATELY just has to take this unimaginative T-shirt and jeans combination off myself, and stop such a fashion faux pas…

Kudos on the slightly successful social network though Zuckerberg. I heard Facebook is doing quite well. I remember a time when I had your money, I think it was my 9^th birthday my worth hit £50,000,000,000...

Humble beginnings!

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I also tried the Richard Branson look...

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Which was equally unsuccessful, I infact remember myself saying how nauseating it was to wear such a boring combination of black and white, where is the color BRANSON...!!!
I can't criticize him though, he is the man that would invite me and the family round for tea in the sky. (Just drinking cups of tea, but at an altitude of over 25,000 feet. So EXILIRATING!!
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I then tried dressing simple, yet effective,  like that of Steve jobs...

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I tried this style because We are both very similar in the way we earned our fortune, I just earned a tiny bit more in a much smaller time scale. He unfortunately never discovered the secret of the hamamash, which tells you just how to become a trillionaire. Though there are only 3 known individuals who actually know the hamamash. No, I won't tell you. SUBSCRIBE THOUGH, it could be revealed in a future blog post. COULD.
I can't say I was completely happy with this style either though, the turtle neck was quite tight, and it made me pull a face of annoyance, like the one you see above!
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After trying so many styles business men before me have pulled off so successfully, I figured the best style to be stand out from the others would be to create my own!
"JUST WEAR ANYTHING!"
 So I did, and Lychee enterprises have grown and grown and grown to where we are today!
Some might say it's the innovations and new near impossible advance Lychee brought to the world of technology, that made the business the single largest enterprise in the Milky Way, though I tend to side with those that say it is all down to the eccentricity of fashion worn by the Lychee CEO, ME!

So it is 2013, and I have become the successful, eccentric trillionaire that I am.
Among one of my most important jobs is to provide new styles of clothing for the Lychee stores on every planet, moon and Grogle we sell Lychee clothing on. I find this exciting, and you would see this pays off if you looked at the sales of Lychee clothing, all profits of which go to over 238 charities, on 16 planets, 5 moons, saving over 200000 lives on a weekly basis, and all provided from the simply eccentric ideas of 1 teenage boy,  me!

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SUNDAY QUESTION? - If you were given a trillion pounds, what is the first thing you would buy?? **comment below**

Curiosity Catches me Cycling!

BONJOUR, HOLA, HALLO, NAMASTE, CIAO, SALUT, ALOHA, JAMBO, HOEZIT EVERYONE! HELLO EVERYONE...

On the 6^th Of August 2012, the Mars ‘curiosity’ rover successfully landed on the surface of Mars in the gale crater. This historical achievement for all mankind was celebrated extensively on the day, and the information curiosity is sending back provides some of the most valuable data scientists have been able to collect about Mars that they ever have done in humankind’s existence on planet Earth, which may mean you won't have to be an eccentric trillionaire with a taste for commercial coffee to live on the red planet! 

Unfortunately for me though, after slightly over 6 months on the planet, the curiosity rover is ONE OF THE MOST ANNOYING ROBOTS I HAVE EVER HAD THE MISFORTUNE TO MEET. There have been lots of times where the rover has nearly caught me in a place where I thought I could get away from human beings. One of these incidents occurred just yesterday, late morning, when I went out for a calming mountain biking trek, and CURIOSITY NEARLY CAUGHT ME CYCLING, TAKING PHOTOS LIKE A LARGE, EXPENSIVE, ROBOTIC MEMBER OF THE  PAPARAZZI!

The day started like normal, I awoke, inquired about the the content of my breakfast, a mix of naturally colorful ball bearing size chewy pastry cereals that are stable food stuff for the morning on Mars. (I’m still getting used to the Martian food). Once I had eaten for the morning, and Satisfied I was no longer hungry anymore, I proceeded to Tarbucks, and ordered the Frankenstein blood intestine with a shot of mocha latte…

After that high calorie, high caffeine cup of obesity, I figured a high octane mountain bike trip over and inside all the Martin craters would provide some excitement while I  waited for the black hole expert to come and install a transportation system, inside the grand hallway of the Martian complex. 

After cycling for a substantial period of time, I had got through three lady gaga videos on YouTube Mars...so after about 40 minutes of mountain biking, I started back for the complex. Figuring it was nearly time for the installation guy.  I guess of course, about the amount of time I climbed those craters. Mint was quite big in fashion in 2012, like Lady Gaga said it would be… she’s not just  a pretty voice!) Then it happened! With the simple, artificial breeze through my hair, and nothing else for miles except three security of mine on Segways, the familiar 'buzzing' of Curiosity started to get louder and louder and louder...

 

So we rushed! I wasn’t getting caught! So with my training from some of the Martian employees in the complex**, I started to play a little game of hide and go seek with the complex robotic machine they so imaginatively called curiosity. I would have called it something cool and fresh like ‘dynamic’ or ‘Blade’ , but that’s just me, I don’t know. I evidently won this challenge, for now!

Thomas 'the gym enthusiast and amateur food critic' Andrew- 1

Curiosity 'the robotic Martian rover/ vehicle' Space- 0

POINTLESS ADDITIONAL FACT TIME!

 **it is a little known fact that Martians live on the red planet even in the modern era, simply because they are so great at hide and seek, and are in fact the best at the ‘ART OF HIDE AND GO SEEK IN THE KNOWN UNIVERSE!’. It’s quite a title, the trophy is so proudly displayed in pride of place in the Martian embassy on the other side of the planet to my complex. About 16 minutes by HyperTrain!

Don't forget to subscribe, share on Facebook + Twitter, and comment to get your point of view and opinions across. I want your feedback! Until this Sunday, Thank you for reading!

**END OF THE 12 DAYS!**

So here we are, the twelfth day, short of the lords-a-leaping and full of a lot more crazy ideas!

In the 12 days I have chronicled my daily life to you all over Christmas on Mars, I have  spent a A day to myself on the Day of Death, spent a day at the races, watching alien creatures race and revolutionising fair animal care, held THE largest company employee meal, spanning over many planets, moons and galaxies, made famous faces out of my employees, spent new year’s day, celebrating 2012 in style, witnessed the birth of alien spawn, witnessing a floating Martian birth, built a house for a parent Martian nun with a day old child that has three alien fathers (Where’s Jeremy Kyle!?), also I’ve spent billions building the largest Lychee store on the red planet, built a zoo, and told the story in  a series of Haiku! Told you it wouldn’t be any old 12 days of Christmas. This is a blog about AN ECCENTRIC TRILLIONAIRE LIVING ON MARS, Remember!

This brings us to our final day, and what have I done you wonder, I see you, sitting at your computer, asking yourself many of life’s most important questions…

Should I subscribe to livingonmarsasatrillionaire, comment, and share the craziness of this boy? Where can I find more of this greatness?

If a cow is left outside on a winter night, will its udders be like ice-cream dispensers?

Answers! - YES, YES! GIVE ME CHOCOLATE+CARAMEL, YES!

Anyway, today was the day we took down the decorations, which is depressing and boring. Don’t take the bright decorations from me!! #StillAnExcitedChildInside.

We also launched the Martian film company, sponsored by Lychee films. The film company on Mars has already created two successful films, Spacer Ace, which had a galaxy wide box office gross of over 5,000,000,000, and the film that I decided needed a touch of Thomas…Avlyatar! The adventure film that starred me, and grossed over 15,000,000,000 in the box office! YES IN 24 HOURS! You have to work quickly to make money!

In a galaxy that’s not so far away, it could be said to be walking distant really. In truth about 15 steps away as it’s out your front door… A brave group of human-like creatures from the future come back from a time of walking tomatoes and fast developing cheese products, to save the terracotta queen. Starring trillionaire inventor/ entrepreneur/ avid CSI viewer, Thomas Andrew Richardson! Will they become the women they want to be? Who will water the plants? When do they take the opportunity to have a sit down dinner? These are the questions you will be forced to ask yourself when you flock to see… AVLYATAR!

So this is the end of the twelve days. The next blog post will be Wednesday, then Sunday and this pattern of free blog posting will go on twice weekly on these days, coincidence, Well yes!

Don’t forget to subscribe, comment and SHARE THIS POST AND THE OTHER 11 POSTS FOR ETERNAL HAPPINESS AND BRIGHT, LIGHT , WHITE CHOCOLATE BUTTONS (YOU REALLY SHOULD TY THEM, SLIGHTLY GREEN TASTING.)

WE BUILT A ZOO- Haiku style! **On Mars! ** 11th Day of Christmas.

ZOO. Architect final sketch.

Today, because I'm feeling creative, poetic, and emotional from all the Juongo juice that has made me a little...tipsy. I will be giving you the events of the day in a very alternative way today. A series of 6 Haiku** poems... In a way... Enjoy!


So, let's set the scene.
I was given a present,
Yet another pet.

I was left no choice!
I just had to build a zoo!
So I thought... And ate.

I would build it large.
I gathered the Martian staff.
I told them my plans.

The design above.
Made by a great architect.
His name Sin-Fo-Gra.

The next day we built.
The structures were grand in scale.
Just a day and finished.

Alien gifts here.
Live presents now have a home.
This zoo of mine, open!

'Haiku Zoo'- Named after my favourite type of poem! The finished zoo on Mars.

**What is a Haiku in 10 seconds

A haiku is  a specialised kind of NON RHYMING poem that;

1. Has to be exactly three lines long

• The first line must contain 5 syllables.
• The second line must contain 7 syllables.
• The third line must contain 5 syllables.

That's it for today's blog post! 

So if you liked my little creative Haiku, why not SUBSCRIBE? SHARE? - Facebook+Twitter share with just one click! COMMENT?

THE WORLDS LARGEST LYCHEE STORE OPENING! **10th Day Of Christmas!**

  Above you see with your own eyes the greatest shop opening of   the worlds largest store on Mars, ever! LYCHEE MALL...

About a week ago... I was in a deep sleep and dreaming I was Aladdin. Flying on a magic carpet, the wind in my hair and the DAME AT MY SIDE... Walt Disney, j'adore you!

I went on a big adventure on the multi-coloured rug, around Europe, seeing the sights such as the Eiffel tower and the giant Jesus in Poland (People think the largest Jesus statue is Christ the redeemer, in Brazil... It's not...) #RandomFactsFromTom

In the dream I vividly remember crossing the Atlantic ocean over to New York city, where the carpet landed on the EARTHS LARGEST STORE, Macy's! This was a sign I thought, so I immediately picked me myself up from chewing on the cotton of the rug in my living room (I sleepwalk...) and ran to my chief of eccentric (He has proved VERY useful in my life!) , where I told him of my dream, and my plan;

"Build THE LARGEST STORE ON MARS, and call it LYCHEE MALL" + Work out how I would invent a Magic carpet capable of flying over the Atlantic ocean...!

That brings us to today, the Lychee Mall idea of mine was quickly brought Into the amazing reality it is now! Thousands flocked from around the red planet, and many more thousands of the wealthiest intergalactic entrepreneurs and business people representing their Rich, greedy cultures , begging for a chance to have a store Inside the Lychee mall. Do they never learn…? Build your own multi-billion Pound mall on another planet in a week, what’s so hard about that…

I’m joking of course; the cost probably went into the tens of billions in reality…

No, I’m serious; the Martian workers eat a lot of free buffets. Why do I always fall for their lies that they won’t eat too much of the free buffet. They love the monghish breads and fatagaei crisp veg. It’s like catnip for Martians…

Although I may not be considered the conventional businessman, today I gave in to pressure to provide a speech  in honor of the opening of the World’s largest store on Mars and, reluctantly, here is that speech;

Nobles, wealthy, DuoSpecies, Antractopods, fishnets, Groubles, Frighty Bitey Men and most Importantly, the Mighty Martians of the planet of RED HUE!

You have all so kindly gathered in your groups, travelling from distant moons, stars and in the case of the Fishnits, the zone of untold description, to witness another piece of great Martian history. I am, first of all, grateful, honoured and overly excited to be part of the rich Martian culture. In a time of uncertainty, they took me in, taught me how to survive, learnt me their ways and language, shared the food they had so little of, and most importantly made me feel at home when I had gone so far from the one I knew. I thank them every day, and here today, I present to you a large Arigatou gozaimasu to the Martian people, and with that, I declare the LYCHEE MALL OPEN!

With the 4^th of January being the first ‘Day of Trading’ for the Lychee Mall, I see the store to be a very successful move for Lychee!  A very happy day it has been today, but from all the excitement, pretend grinning and limp handshakes from a range of multi-wrists, tentacles (TENTACLES, RUDE…), and grasping claws of all the species and races of the vast array of planets represented today at Lychee Mall, it is clear to see why I would be a very tired teenage boy right now!

So with that, I say goodbye until tomorrow!

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