Trillionaire on a talk show!

I do not like media. Which is why it would come as a surprise when I tell you-This week, I went on Ellen! 

For years, I have been in high demand with talk shows wanting to book me to be on their shows. I mean , why would you not want a teenage trillionaire on your show. I brought an elephant. Once me and my team (I have a team...) arrived back on Earth, we came out of the top secret doughnut shaped bunker in area 51. 

If you asked me why I could probably tell you in 5 simple reasons;

1) Ellen was Eager.

2) Ellen was Excited.

3) I was bored.

4) Typing can give your arthritis if done too commonly.

5) I was coming to Earth to visit people anyway.

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I have done so much more than my appearance on the Ellen show on Tuesday though*. I mean look at the paparazzi image that was taken of my arrival at area 51! I had to cope with all the media attention. This is why I don't like the faces of the paparazzi. 

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Also, there is the large percentage of time I spent with family and friends, which I will not be showing on this blog. The media can be annoying.

*I'm legally obligated to tell you that the images on the Ellen interview cannot be shown in this blog post as it is highly secret, and, in truth, an image that was captured actually caught Ellen with her face on the floor. Her robot face was showing. Sorry, again, Ellenatron. #TheTruthboutEllenD #24 #PopSomeTags

The moral of this story- Never poke the easter bunny in the eye, and eat the chocolate eggs of the official easter bunny wicker basket. 

...And never 'hoot jinx' an owl.

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Until Sunday! Bye!

Tom x

31 1/2  Facts About Me!
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1) When I was 7, I started my first worldwide company.

2) I love to build things out of Lego.

3) I would much prefer to spend a week in a tent, wrapped up and sipping hot chocolate than spend a few days in a 6* hotel.

4) I have over 400 security guards, and the number increases every week. This is because of my fear of being assassinated.

5) My mum lives in an underground bunker underneath the earths crust, as I have a hidden fear of my family being also assassinated.

6) The Lychee conglomerate I own, alone, employs over 2.5 million employees.

7) Lychee sells technology, food, clothing, land, pets, vehicles, insurance, banking, music and the business is growing daily.

8) The projected profits for Lychee in the 2013/2014 business year is projected to be equivalent to £25,000,000,000,000,000+ Not bad.

9) Aliens exist... It's how I made so much money in so little time. Trade where no one else can/is, and be the first to do so.

10) I drink 2.5 liters of water a day to give my skin that signature glow, which protects my skin, somewhat, in the harsh Martian conditions.

11) I recently designed a portable breathing apparatus that means I no longer have to wear a space suit, I simply connect several pipes to a lightweight advanced system.

12) America are in 250 billion dollar debt with me.

13) Barack Obama is a good friend, Michelle loves the beauty treatments on offer at my spa complex.

14) I have never sacked an employee.

15) I have 2% of all Earths money. Not literally. But equivalent.

16) Through a range of charities I started, Lychee conglomerate provides free education, free public transport, a system of food for the poorest in the milky way and sixteen mega-complex hostels where the homeless can stay.

17) I was voted sexiest man on Mars 2011/2012.

18) I'm not even an adult yet. I'm 17. Do you see how fact 17 is a bit weird now...

19) My birthday is 11.04.1995.

20) I make mountains out of molehills.

21) I continuously cry over spilt milk.

22) I'm the richest man in the milky-way.

23) I can say the worlds hardest tongue twister- The sixth sick sheik’s sixth sheep’s sick. CAN YOU?!?

24) I grew up in England. 

25) Time travel is possible. Trust me...

26) I use the motto- "If work becomes hard, change it for the better".

27) A spiritual man, who travelled for months, told me the secret to life.

28) I'm a surprisingly private person.

29) The paparazzi once got a crotch shot. I don't want to explain this one.

30) I have developed a communication device better than sliced bread. That tastes like sliced bread if accidently licked.

31) I am fully prepared to tell the internet my phone number in the next fact...

31.5) My phone number is- see, because this is the half! 

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Thanks for reading!

Tom x

A (less than ordinary) day in the life of… A TEENAGE RICH KID!

Every day, I wake at the same exact time. Time is slightly different on Mars, with it being a bit closer to the sun, different orbit blah, blah; the time is equivalent to 5.30am. Or, as it is known on Mars, when the Silent Pedeco plants start, you guessed it, squealing. Their name is somewhat misleading.

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I always go straight to the Tarbucks store, for that needed 'pick me up' everyone needs on a morning. I sleepily order a Chocó-mocha caffe caramato latte coffee, always caffeinated severely. This is the foundation of a great, successful day of running a conglomerate like Lychee. #NowYouKnow

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All dressed. My teeth drunk. Some Coffee brushed, finished with a sip, gargle and spit of some mouthwash. I leave the complex.

I usually travel by high speed T-train, 600mph, convenient with my 300 mile commute to the Lychee headquarters, the first place I go on a new day.

When I arrive at the workplace, I’m usually very busy straight away. But today I won’t just be doing any old, boring CEO work to make me go back to sleep on a dreary morning. No, today I will be tasting new foods for the Mt. Vinius cooking academy (testing/eating copious amounts of food, and becoming a body size and weight that can only be described as bloated and spherical...) . 
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HMMMn! Martian cuisine is the best. Though there is a downside (Yes, there is a downside to stuffing your face with food that really is, out of this world. Not even a pun, take this literally...)

Yes. Some of these foods are…. Experimental. They can sometimes have some somewhat interesting effects on a certain human, teenage owner of a fruit named company, like nausia and complete repulsion (Bet you can't guess who I might be talking about...) . The answer to the teenage owner of  fruit named company...Was ME. No not Steve jobs! 

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Going off topiiic...!

**Let’s just imagine Steve Jobs as a teenager**

...And that children, is how Steve Jobs invented Apple. Consequently, this was the same year the terms 'douchebag' and 'frenemy' were popularized. What a great year for humankind.

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So after the tasting, I decided things were getting a bit too serious. So I went to the virtual reality centre and played Mario! This was seriously fun, you don’t even realise. 

After this inconvenient, yet tremendously entertaining hour or so, I had to make a few conference calls. #YOLO. 0.0. And then shockingly, my day of business was over, and leisure time began.

My favourite pastimes are mentioned here- 1)  http://livingonmarsasatrillionaire.blogspot.co.uk/2012/11/unpopular-trillioniare-on-mars.html … 

and 2)http://livingonmarsasatrillionaire.blogspot.co.uk/2013/01/curiosity-catches-me-cycling.html .Click these for more insight on what I do, all in an effort to show i’m just a normal teenager. I have 482 security guards.  

Sunday- There will be an all new blog post, like this one that had entertained you for a different amount of time depending on your reading abilities, which determine the time it takes you to read  this post. The blog post will be a guide of some kind. But I of course won’t be telling you what this is a guide about! It’s a surprise, surprises are fun. My mum said the pregnancy of me was a surprise, So I conclude that I am a… Guide. What?!

So in case you were going to just go! Naughty blog reader!  Subscribe à à à

Also share this on Facebook, twitter, Google+, Pintrest, Tumblr, Youtube, ladygaga.com, lanadelray.com, annoyingblogadvertising.com, tomhastoomuchtime.com, youhaveprobablylostallhopeinlifenow.com, and for extra college credit… SHOW THIS BLOG TO THE LEADER OF YOUR REALM. It will surely bring peace on planet earth. **Peace sign**

A favorite quote of the blog post- "My mum said the pregnancy of me was a surprise"- Thomas Richardson, Full time mother of six.

Thanks! Come back Sunday for the new blog post!

Tom  x

MT VINIUS COOKING ACADEMY **OPENING**

"It's vast,  William Christian Hannerson is simply a genius!"- Architect opinion magazine.

After 3 weeks, 5,000 construction workers and only 15,000 injuries…

WE ARE FINALLY READY TO OPEN THE Mt. Vinius cooking academy! I think I might need to give you some context. I have always had an extremely good relationship with food. Not an addiction, but just a harmony that seems to go hand in hand with me and the COOKING OF FOOD. So when it came to thinking about how I could be a more philanthropic person, I decided to open one of the greatest cooking academies in the known universe, where any being could come to learn Martian, Earth, jupitian and venusiuan cookery. This, even in its planning stage, was exciting. So while I ran my multi-trillion pound Conglomerates, I allowed the architect to create a grand, unique cooking academy, with only two rules

1)      --Money is no object.

2)      –Make it great.

… And so he created the Mt. Vinius cooking academy. 

                         

For the opening of the academy, I thought a Jupitian granite troll would be a unique option to open the school. The emperor wanted to do it, I don’t think so.

My speech was kept intentionally short, as not to bore the masses who had taken their time to travel to Mars to witness the historical opening.

If i was to give a reason why I chose to take my time to oversee the building of Mt. Vinius, fund the academy myself and take the time to think of a humorous alternative to the mayor or emperor, in the form of a granite troll, my reason would not be good enough, as there is not just one. This may be seen as an attempt for publicity for my conglomerates, to gain attention and subsequent profit, this is simply not the case. Do you see any milky-way media? No.

I wish every success for the academy and its future students. We have Collected the best ‘food gurus' to learn the students of Mt. Vinius. They're not even that obese, which is surprising… Well, with the exception of many.

Without further delay, though, I declare the Mt. Vinius cooking academy… Open!

I've been a busy bee this week, as I have just been finishing examinations and... Being ill from the cold (stupid immune system not making me healthy.)

But on Wednesday, (27.01.13), YOU will be treated to a brand new, **magnifique** blog post PLUS the all new about me and Mt. Vinius page that will be updated weekly! (**vocabularly dictionary is coming in the next few weeks! **)

Bye everyone! Thanks for reading! Subscribe for eternal happiness, and to see my sexy, awkward face!

                              Tom x.

Lucid dreams, Mona Thomas and Gaga!

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Shortly before the weekend, Pete the unicorn, my now deceased cloned purple unicorn I created when I was just a young billionaire child prodigy, came to me and taught me what he had learned on his travel in the clone purple unicorn afterlife (It’s quite exclusive)…One of the things I remember most is what he taught me about the secrets to a successful lucid dream. This subject intrigued me as I have always wanted to be aware I was dreaming and being conscience in said dream.

So I set the date. I would try to have a lucid dream on the night of Tuesday the 22^nd of January; this is mostly so I would only have to maintain my excitement level for just a few hours before I told everyone about my lucid dream experience! And so last night I waited till all the Martians had settled…

**Silence falls as night approaches on the red planet the princess in her bed, the prince falls in love and we all quickly calm down, as I turn the last page of my fable, the princess and the tea tree. 

**A FAR LESS THAN AVERAGE NIGHTIME IN THE MARTIAN COMPLEX BEGINS! **

I followed the steps Pete told me in order to have a lucid dream, and I drifted off to my conscious sleep. At first, I was admittedly scared, I was now in a state where my body thought I was sleeping, yet my thoughts and awareness hadn’t switched off as it usually does when you sleep. All I needed to do is wait, and hope Tuesday was the night I would have a dream that I could control in my conscious-dreamlike state!…

A blackened fuzziness turned into a white light and what happened was truly amazing. Like the screen of a television, an amazing, flickering image started to appear before my closed eyes. This is when I knew I was about to experience my first lucid dream. ...

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When the dream began, I found myself still on Mars still. Yet this was noticeably different to the normal Martian soils I knew. For example, normally I don’t come across a snake dressed in a smart bow tie, mustache and mini, fashionable top hat combination. I must say he does look very dapper though. I assume it’s a male snake, he has a mustache. Or it might be something to do with overpowering hormones.

In this amazing candy like dream scene I found myself in I found I was able to do whatever I liked, and after I had walked and explored extensively, I looked to the violet sky to find a bodiless Gaga in the air. I found my personal deity. This dream was awesome.

When she began to talk, her voice boomed and filled the crazy dream world that was my overpowering imagination. She told me my abilities to control a dream meant she could take me on a tour of the world my mind had created. And so with a snigger at the sliding baby who seemed to endlessly slide down the giant smarties that made the candy Andes, and a lick of the square watermelon, I commanded my dream to take me on, I was unbelievably getting bored of the candy-like Mars…

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The next part of the dream seemed to be part of an old movie, though there were particularly interesting differences. I mean other than the fact I appear to be nearly falling to my death, yet with a look of amazement, I think I enjoyed the danger and the belief I could not be hurt, in something that was a simple work of my imagination!

**Can you see some of the things that just shouldn’t be in this black and white pre 1930’s scene??** Comment!

It was here gaga told me the significance of this situation. Gaga told me my inner conscience seemed to be telling me that my work was becoming outdated, in terms of the Lychee conglomerate. This was teaching me a useful lesson… I need to create an innovation, a new product that is unlike any other thing, ever. Even though I was able to control this ‘lucid dream’, I think the life concerns and inner worries of other fruit based companies catching up to Lychee was involved in creating this odd 1930-esque dream, with a bit of trillionaire imagination thrown in obviously! This dream was proving to be more valuable for my life, in general, by the second, Apart from the fun of going through this dream in what I thought as real time.

A sudden wind could be weirdly felt, as this simple scene turned into a twisting rainbow of colours where the gaga head seemed to be calmly pulling me through and humming a jazz version of bad romance and you and I...

(It was a seemingly long transition to the next part, even travel in a conscious dream takes time…life!) youuuuu and meee could write a baaad romannnncceee…..

A sudden wind could be weirdly felt, as this simple scene turned into a twisting rainbow of colours where the gaga head seemed to be calmly pulling me through and humming a jazz version of bad romance and you and I (It was a seemingly long transition to the next part, even travel in a conscious dream takes time…life!) youuuuu and meee could write a baaad romannnncceee…..
A beat of the drum was approaching. This is the first thing I heard as a group of tiny construction workers started to build a small room around Gaga and me. By this time the dream was beginning to be less and less out of my control, in terms of the amount of things I was able to do in it.
The floral headed Gaga suddenly was silent, and a weird sensation passed over my body producing the body of a light brown llama. I had the body of a light brown llama. This dream could not get any weirder. Oh but it could!
I found my llama self and gaga in a hell like, padded cell. This part of the dream was becoming less enjoyable and more concerning. Especially as this was the doing of my own imagination.
The head of gaga became more demonic as her giant, freaky mouth hole started to produce ocean water and a great white shark contained within the salt water. What was this about! I still don’t know!
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As the dream began to fade, and my body slowly waking, the scenes became more bland and colourless, until the bodiless Gaga was no more and the control I had in this apparent lucid dream was non-existent, to the point I, for a reason I don’t know, found my dream to end with a depiction of the Mona Lisa but with my face. The ‘Mona Thomas’

The look of surprise I had in this impressive alternative reproduction of the famous Leonardo de Vinci work/ self-loving portrait of me was the last thing I saw as this fascinating dream experience was coming to an end.

I woke to the sound of the cleaners cleaning, the creatures purring like a wolf, and the nonsense of the arc screaming loudly at the cheese stall. All was normal in my quaint Martian complex. I was back in the real world.  I knew exactly what I had to do next! It was all so clear as I lay in my bed, listening for the slight vibrations of the build in bed alarm that gave me an early warning that my alarm for the start of another day was about to begin shortly.

And I smiled to myself as the white llama depicted in my lucid dream stood outside. I knew it now. Do you realise it too?

 I knew it now. Do you see it too?...

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Thanks you, see you all Sunday? 

The Marvelous, Mystery Travels Of A Teenage Trillionaire.

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First and foremost ladies and gentlemen! (This intro sounds a little formal…)

**start again**-

So, to start off, if you are a new reader, you will need to have read Wednesdays blog post in order to fully understand this one…

So here is the link to that!-Lychee Breaking News.

If you have already read the post, or have JUST read said blog post from Wednesday, we can move on!

There was a lot of hype, rumors and media speculation about this trip, which from the point of view of the galaxies public, was quiet justified as these trips I occasionally go on do seem quite bizarre and secretive. This is not the case though, as the place I am going to is not another time, a forbidden planet or the house of a z list ‘has –been’, Jupite celebrity to eat stale, toasted buttered bread. It is in fact EARTH!

Yes, the planet home to 7.2 billion of my own, the place I made my fortune at a young age, and the place I come to relax, in the deepest depths of the Amazon. Of all the destinations I could choose, you probably find it quite bizarre that I have chosen planet Earth to have a little break. I have simply chosen to spend a few days here, in the middle of the amazon, with nothing but a suitcase for the relaxation!

So think of this as a little ‘unique holiday journal’! Enjoy!

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After a journey that had taken just 15 seconds, we arrived through the vortex that had transported our spaceship over a hundred million miles! (The joy of a space vortex…)

The vortex/wormhole, Earth side, arrived about 1,000 miles from the Earth surface, and once it had stopped completely, and cooled down from the 3,000 degree temperatures it had to go through in the vortex, a transportation beam focused on the UK allowed me and a few suitcases of essentials to travel down to the Earth.

To get to the Amazon, I had to travel to Brazil from Gatwick, (I didn’t go first class though, and my spiritual frame of mind overpowered my urge for luxury). In many ways, it was refreshing to see human life go about it's daily business, I have to admit, for some time before and during the Gatwick-Brazil flight , I stared and grinned a lot, which did somewhat freak out some of the recipients of my cheerful stares.!

 The flight, luckily, went quite quickly and from there I met with a guide who gave me nothing but a map and a friendly wave off, as I travelled into the rainforest.  Situations like this, although extensively organized by a team of security and professionals in the subject, do allow me to ‘slum it’, and in many ways, allow me to forget about money and possession by seeing what life really is about. 

It does, unbelievably get remarkably boring to live in the height of luxury a lot, this is why I go on my little visits/holidays back to Earth sometimes, to simply get away from the burden of business, and the hassle of being the richest man in the milky-way!

On a walk that lasted many hours, I began to feel fatigued; evidently my love of Martian cuisine had taken its toll on my physical abilities. I do have a gym; I just have never used it.  I carried on to my destination though, which was a little tribal community deep in the amazon. And the experience started.
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The tribe, in a lot of ways, reminded me of the tribes on Mars, when I first arrived on the red planet, I felt so excited, but there was the daunting prospect that I would be alone. The reality of the situation, when Lived, was the complete opposite of this though, I soon realized as a tribe of Martians made me feel welcome on the planet, and taught me the basics of survival, which is why I saw the tribe I stayed with on my earth visit as similar to the Martians who made me feel like a Martian myself!

Over the 4 days I spent with the tribe in the Amazon, I learnt so many things about myself. For example:

1)      I never looked good with ginger hair!

2)      A denim jacket DOES NOT look good on me, my body is too flat!

3)      Having a simple craving for something, does not mean I have to open a new business to provide said craving!

4)      The public is not my enemy. I dispute this STILL.

5)      I’m in no way talented at bee keeping.

I thank the tribe with no name in the Amazon for opening my eyes to the realities of Thomas. Thank you. And GURUAK!

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With that, my little trip was over, and I started back for my home on Mars, enriched and a bank of new, crazy ideas amassed in my head. This frequently happens when I am my most tranquil.

Get ready people, because I think life might get a tad more exciting, for readers of livingonmarsasatrillionaire especially...!

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*LYCHEE NEWS CORPORATION PRESENTS...!*

BREAKING NEWS FROM LYCHEE NEWS CORPORATION!

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With everyone’s favourite celebrity news anchor, Ta Ta Moon. Exclusive news transmitted straight to your home with a SMILE from Lychee news corps…

Today at around 6.15am, the trillionaire owner and founder of Lychee enterprises were seen boarding a Super-Jet at the 57^Th sector, East Mars. Met by around 6,000 members of the paparazzi, the crowded airport was filled to the brim to catch a rare look at the teenager, who is apparently about to embark on one of his rare ‘research trips’. Not much is known about the notoriously secretive goings on of the normally very open trillionaire teen, when he goes on his trips, with speculations going from the completely crazy theory that he is travelling in time through a secret wormhole in the unknown, very undiscovered Gregular system in the galaxy of wormholes, where he uses the vital information he collects to get an advantage over the rest of business in the universe. This is known as the ‘Tom goes to Greg’ theory, and actually stems from the stories of the young businessman apparently disappearing in one place in the universe, only to reappear in another part of the solar system, Something over 54 being have claimed to witness. Although it could just be that the businessman is going for a little holiday. This is more likely.

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To research this further, we sent our floating, roving, always intoxicated reporter/cleaner- Royf Ding, to try and find out some information about the intentions of this loveable trillionaire. In a disguise of course, he does have a distinctive face…

Though the disguise evidently worked, as Royf got some quite interesting information from the trillionaire;

Royf asked- Thomas, can you tell us exactly where you are going and what you are going to do?

Thomas’s reply-

If I was a deity, I would be worshipped. If I was not a rich man, you would not question my motives. Rumours can be true, but the truth can be twisted, and this is the truth I tell you. I will be going to improve, but I shall not tell you what, where I will do this, or if I will bring you back a souvenir. I might, I might not. 

This is not selfish, as it is clear to see you have come in your thousands to take pictures, to marvel at the teen that made it big, made him rich and became what he is. So it would be nothing less than fair to bring every single person here a souvenir back, but then this would not be possible for the place I plan to end up. 

Could I not, perhaps, just be going to a destination of leisure, or do you simply assume my life is one big secret, a silent tiptoe in the dark it is not! 

But then I know exactly what you all speak about. Is he going to attempt the impossible, and once again ‘break the mould’. I could be telling you the truth;but also, I could have my fingers crossed when I do this...

I will take no more questions, as I must be on my way. Thank you, and please Royf, I know it's you… save the embarrassment and take off that silly moustache, please.

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With that, and with a hoard of shouting reporters from across the galaxy screaming his name, Thomas smiled into the crowd, turned and boarded the super-jet and within 4 seconds of the doors closing, the trillionaire was in the air travelling to the place he is staying **destination unknown**!

                                                           Fin. End of the Lychee News!