3 years later I made a clone of myself and we worked together to create a purple unicorn called Pete,which apparently revolutionized biological science and secured understanding of the origins of mythical tales and folklore, as well as giving scientists the push they needed to create the first successful living clones and a better understanding of the human body and disease...
I was six, I just wanted a purple unicorn that had the hilarious mannerisms of a adult gangster...
Pete liked to smoke, Pete died shortly after I created him...
Heres Pete... Poor Pete.
Age 7 I started lychee, the little known, but weirdly more successful rival of apple...
We innovated the phone, making paper thin smartphones from 2002, this straight away shot me to worldwide fame, and this is where I made my first $10 billion.
So I bought a boat, and treated myself to a subway every week. Remember i was only 7, a boat and a weekly subway was amazing, although so is a 7 year old world renound entrepreneurial inventor.
Lychee was a worldwide success, selling the most advanced technology. Life was said to be better on earth because of Lychee, and eventually our simple advertisement became the most watched video on you tube with 1.1 billion views!
Then, 4 years later, age 11, 123 billion dollars in the bank ,and already the richest boy in the world, I was sent the news that the Lychee advertisement would be one of the first set of videos to be beamed to other planets by the ACTTSFDTIS (A company that tom started for doing things in space).
Yes this achievement may be down to me owning the space agency...
Anyway, the messages were apparently sent in order to show aliens the achievements of human kind on earth, instead about a year later I was contacted by the mayor of Agnilicsious, the planet of the Throms. Apparently I was the first human contact and it was some kind of historical event for all involved, I was eating a toasted bagel. The Throm mayor told me that the advertising at first surprising was actually causing the planets dwellers to develop a want for a lychee product.
So, of course 2 months later, allowing time for me to create 'a faster than light speed rocket ship and pack a bag of essentials such as underwear and necklaces, and having a 50 day break in between...
I set off for Agnilicsious!
At 20,000,000 light years away, it obviously took me quite a while to reach the planet, so I had time to watch kindergarten cop on the way there. What a gloriously awful film...
My trip to the planet allowed opportunity for me to expand my little multi-billion pound Earth business to all over the universe, which made me quite a rich man. By my birthday on April 11 2010 I was worth 600 billion pound. Not bad.
In 2011, I was invited to the white house to meet the president Barack Obama, where I also met the Golorian planets richest man, worth over 850 billion dollars, from his universe wide lolly stick rental company called friytilututluitfrendfruntilumooptuuismus or rent-a-lolly-stick in Earth English. This meeting inspired me...
So I lay in bed that night and pondered, I twirled my mustache and blew my nose on gold plated people, and collapsed from thinking too much.
This is where I dreamt of the franjalum, my answer to becoming the richest man in the universe!
Of course, I thought, and set to work building it, a 10 foot metal structure will be melted down and inserted into a disc where the dust of a rotten, dry apple will be sprinkled over its core, bringing the franjalum to life like Frankenstein brought his monster to life with lightning!
It made me even more richer, curing cancer and the common cold and provided all the convenience a densely packed lump of metal stuffed into a disc and sprinkled with rotten apple dust obviously has...
I was the richest man in the universe! But I still felt limited, I had achieved a bit more than any 17 year old in my life, but I felt like I was not living life to its fullest, so I designed the greatest, most expensive structure ever thought of by a man,its technology would surpass anything possible to imagine and its windows would allow for a cold morning breeze to pass through the building for a comfortable temperature.
So I traveled to Mars, and lived with the sol-pata-cak tribe of the northern caves of brasali, who taught me how to speak to the land, where I realised I had to live here!
Rome certainly wasn't built in a day... But my Mars structure was! So that brings us up to date.
I will blog weekly and tell you what I'm getting up to!
Tom.
